I Gained the Weight Back, and I’m Glad!

Pink balloons

My dryer was broken.  No, my clothes are old. No, the fabric just shrinks because we had really cold weather in North Carolina this winter. Strange how for over seven years I never noticed these issues.  And then I noticed that 17 pounds just crept up on me over the past year and a half. 

How did this happen? I kept 115 pounds off for over 9 years, so why would weight return?  Well, it happened because I let life get in the way of the most important thing in my life…feeling good about myself.  Losing 115 pounds was about me wanting to feel good after my father’s death and so that I did not die prematurely. 

However, grief is very cunning and it comes in waves.  Grief visited me again in October 2015 when my mother passed away, and I forgot what makes me feel good. It was as if a relative I love from a distance paid me a visit... to remind me of why I love them at a distance.  The visit felt like a warm, comforter but gets stuck around my legs and is too bulky for me to do anything other than lay on the couch and veg out. It's great for a while but too much to bear when the weather is beautiful and all I want to do is run and play outside.  That’s when I knew it was time to say good bye to my dear relative…or the 17 pounds...so that I could run and feel joy again.